


This was our fault

by LizzyANT



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner RPF, The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Assisted Suicide, Background Poly, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Multi, Polyamorous Character, Polyamorous Pack, Polyamory, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2019-06-05 22:51:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 2,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15181082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizzyANT/pseuds/LizzyANT
Summary: This story contains POLY relationship, NEWTMAS, FLUFF, SMUT, SUICIDAL, SMUT, ANGER, SMUT!Dont hate me after this.Im not from english speak country, dont have beta, so if i have somewhere something wrong im so sorry





	1. 1.1

  
Dear Newt,

  
probably you are suprised that i writing a letter to you. But i not.  
I's been already two years when you just pack all your things and left us all alone.  
Now, it's getting worse.  
And i don't know what to do.  
One day she is okay, she has a smile on her face and she kiss me like nothing, but on other days....  
On other day she has tears in her eyes, she is drunk and, i don't know what to do..  
But today it's different, I'm in hospital now, and maybe you asking yourself 

  
,, _What the hell is he doing there?_ " 

  
And i must write you, I'm so sorry Newt..  
I couldn't keep he safe.  
She's getting worse and worse everyday, when you left.  
But it's okay.  
We are okay.  
Because...  
We are still waiting for you.  
When you will came back to us.

  
With Love,  
Thomas


	2. 1.2

Dear Newt,

today she woke up from a nightmare.  
And i didn't know what to do.  
It was always you who could comfort her.  
Not me.  
But it's okay.  
She fell asleep after, then when nurse gave her some injection.  
Probably for better sleep, I guess.

It's been two days after what she did.  
But now..  
She smiling again.  
She even keep telling my name, over again and again.

_,,Tommy"_

It's what she keep saying.  
It making me blush, and I'm happy.  
I hope it's not bad thing.  
That im smiling like a idiot when she keep saying my name.

But everything is okay.  
I hope you are doing good.  
I hope you are healthy.  
I hope you are happy.  
I hope you didn't forgot that we are here.  
Where you left us.

Newt?

We are still waiting for you.

With Love,  
Thomas


	3. 1.3

Dear Newt,

today is special day.  
Do you remember?  
Probably not but i would tell you even if you do not remember what day is today.  
It's anniversary.  
Today we met.  
The three of us.  
In school.  
Remember?

It's been over 10 years when we first met in school and we repeating this day over, every day again and again.  
Maybe it's bad but it's our best memory of you.  
You know?

Alby and Minho was here the other day.  
They came to see if she is okay.  
And she was, when they was here,  
She even make bad jokes like everytime when someone came here.  
Remember?

Gally tried ask her for date.  
He failed but he still trying.  
Does he even know that i'm still here.  
Dating her?  
Almost everyone forgot that we still dating even when you are not here.  
It sucks!

But she is okay with that.  
She still refusing everyone, who trying fancy her.  
It is funny all the time.

I almost forgot.  
I hope your postman isn't mad at me.  
Because today all the letter came back to me.  
Every, letter in good shape.  
Never opened.  
Did you move out?

I hope you are okay.  
We still love you Newt.

With Love,  
Thomas


	4. 1.4

Dear Newt,

it's been two month.  
And like always my letters came back to me again.

But im still trying to reach you somehow.  
Maybe you are mad at us?  
Maybe not.  
I don't know.  
She tried call you.  
But it came right into voicemail.  
She just sigh.  
She is okay.  
She didn't hur herself again.

Or she didn't tell that loud.  
I know she did that again, and again.  
But i'm not different.  
I slept with stranger.  
He was blond, and he even limp little bit.  
But he wasn't you.  
He didn't had that something in his eyes like you had.

She didn't find out about that.  
Or i just hope that she didn't.  
If she did she would never say anything, about that.

Alby and Minho came again.  
They invited us for trip.  
To London!  
Do you believe it?

She is little bit excited.  
Like me.  
But we are little bit afraid.

What if you will call us?  
What if you would come back and we wouldn't be here?  
What if you...

But we are going anyway.

We want...

We want something...

Bey Newt,  
Thomas


	5. 2.5

Dear Newt,

this is my first letter what im writing you.  
I know Tommy wrote you so uch letters.  
He wrote so many of them, but they never reached you.  
But i know this one letter would.

I hope you wouldn't be mad.

That i'm writting this letter to you.  
If you are i'm not sorry.

I tried kill myself six month ago.  
I tried kill myself in hospital to.  
But he saved me.  
Tommy was there when i was in bad state.

He was there when i needed him.

But you wasn't.  
You are somewhere when we can't reach you like this letter.  
But it is okay, Newt.

Because this is last letter what we would sent you.  
He didn't wrote any letter after his last.  
And he wouldn't wrote anymore.

I hope you are doing great.

I hope you are happy.

I hope you are healthy.  
I hope you would find someone who you would love like we loved you, back in our good days.

We are doing great,

We are happy.  
We aren't healthy but we trying.  
We still love you, but we moving on.

This will be proper goodbey.  
So take care of yourself,  
You deserve to be happy.

Goodbey mate,  
Lizzy


	6. 3.6

Dear Newton Isaac,

we gladly inviting you on our lovely wedding.

We will be happy if you could home.  
And be with us on our last single day.

Your friends,  
Minho and Alby


	7. 3.7

Dear Alby and Minho,

I would be happy to come on your wedding.  
I hope we would have good time there for little talk with each other.  
We would see there.

Your friend,  
Newt


	8. 3.8

Dear Sonya,

hello sis.  
I hope that you are going on Minho wedding too.

And if yes, i wanted to ask you for little favor.  
Can you go in my house for post?

I'm going right on his wedding after i would fly into New York so i don't have time to go and check anything in my flat.  
And thanks that you took care of my flat the whole year.

With best brother love,

Newt


	9. 3.9

Brother,

really quick message for you.

You had just one letter, in you mailbox.

i will give it to you when we would arrive on Minho wedding.

You sister,

Sonya


	10. 4.10

,,Hey Sonya" said Newt when he came and hug his sister  
,,Hello there stranger!" she said with smile on her face.

They didn't saw each other for so long.

,,Och..." she said and then she started looking for something in her bag.

Then she give him a thin letter.

,,This was that letter from message" she said and gived that letter to him as ho nooded  
,,Thanks sis" he said and smiled.

When they reached Minho and Alby they hugged like they didn't saw each other for years.  
Well it's true.

They didn't saw each other for over a year.  
Because of Newt. Because he left.  
And then they had a biggest chat in their life, about the wedding, about everything.  
Newt almost forgot.

And then he looked on Minho while Alby left them alone.

,,I thought Thomas and Lizzy would be here" he said and Minho almost lost breath  
,,Why would they be here?" Minho said carefully  
,,Well i thought, i would see them here.." he said  
,,You don't know do you?" he said again very very carefully  
,,What?"  
,,They left Newt..." Minho said  
,,Where..?" he asked  
,,I'm sorry... I don't know.. They didn't contacted us and we find out. In very bad moment. That they left USA" he said with hurt voice but he didn't stoped  
,,After that suicidal thing, and her being in hospital, whe took them into london for trip we tought it would give them little fresh start, and when we came back, after maybe two days, they moved and we don't know where, they blocked their numbers, mails, everything, and now we can't reach them... im sorry..." he said with little bit tears in his eyes and looked at Newt he cried.  
,,Don't worry its okay, i understand that i left them...." he said and smiled little

When party was in start and everyone started dance and have fun. Newt took letter out he wanted know if is there something important. But he didn't saw anything even his adress. It wasn't sent to him.

he opened that letter and started read:

**_Dear Newt,_ **

**_this is my first letter what im writing you._**  
**_I know Tommy wrote you so uch letters._**  
**_He wrote so many of them, but they never reached you._**  
**_But i know this one letter would._**

_**I hope you wouldn't be mad.** _

_**That i'm writting this letter to you.**_  
_**If you are i'm not sorry.**_

 _ **I tried kill myself six month ago.**_  
_**I tried kill myself in hospital to.**_  
_**But he saved me.**_  
_**Tommy was there when i was in bad state.**_

**_He was there when i needed him._ **

**_But you wasn't._**  
**_You are somewhere when we can't reach you like this letter._**  
**_But it is okay, Newt._**

 _ **Because this is last letter what we would sent you.**_  
_**He didn't wrote any letter after his last.**_  
_**And he wouldn't wrote anymore.**_

**_I hope you are doing great._ **

**_I hope you are happy._ **

**_I hope you are healthy._**  
**_I hope you would find someone who you would love like we loved you, back in our good days._**

**_We are doing great,_ **

**_We are happy._**  
**_We aren't healthy but we trying._**  
**_We still love you, but we moving on._**

 _ **This will be proper goodbey.**_  
_**So take care of yourself,**_  
_**You deserve to be happy.**_

 ** _Goodbey mate,_**  
**_Lizzy_**

Newt didn't know how to react so he ended crying.  
He lots them, both of them and then he read one sentect over and over.

 ** _He wrote so many of them, but they never reached you._**  

They wrote him.  
Thomas wrote him letters.  
And not just one.  
Where they letters are then? 


	11. 4.11

Newt was at home alone.  
Wedding where he was was already month ago and now he trying to find them.

But Lizzy and Thomas just disappeared like ghosts.  
No one know where they was even they new replacement in they house or more the people which living in they house as renters.  
At least they didn't sold the house so they can came back.  
Or no?

Today was Tuesday and Newt went to his old house where he lived before he need to move because of his landlords he tried find out why he didn't get any letters.  
He went on post office.  
And they didn't know either.  
They even apologized for the problems but that didn't change nothing.  
He still don't know what was in the letters what Lizzy mentioned in hers.  
He would never find out what Thomas wrote him.

Next Wednesday was horrible.  
But at least renter from they house called him and they told him that they spoke with at least Thomas and he told them they wouldn't came back another six month so they still can live in they house and if they will be some problems they should reach guy named Gally for help instead of them because they are not in USA, and now they are not even  in Europe.  
Instead of that they moved in Asia, somewhere in Taiwan.

Newt, fell down in depression deep, deep until he touched ground.  
He didn't know what to do...  
He didn't saw light there...  
He missed them  
He needed them

And then he figured that out.  
He would go and he would find them or at least he would try.  
Because he just loved them that much.  
It hurts!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Believe me when I saw until someone commented on this story I forgot about it!


	12. 4.12

Newt bought one ticket for him.

He is really going to Taiwan.

No matter what.

Alby and even Minho couldn't change his mind.

He just needed find them.

 

He MUST FIND THEM!

And no matter what he would FIND THEM.

 

When he landed in Taiwan his first way was for him to check up on hotel.

When he unpacket his things he went for walk through town.

 

He walked for pretty long time.

And no just that.

He might saw them.

Or at least it was pretty nice hallucination.

But when he came closer it was more clear.

 

Thomas sat next to some girl and they talked hand by hand very close to each other.

But it wasn't HER.

That girl wasn't their Lizzy.

Not at all.

But then se came there and she sat on girls lap like it was nothing.

And then she kissed Thomas and next she kissed that stranger, that girl.

And Newt find like his blood boiling in himself like a vulcan.

 

He just ran from there like a storm, frowning like a God of Death.

He was pissed.

 

He was mad.

 

He was totally furious.

 

He just wanted crush that girl like nothing.

She didn't had right to touch them.

Because those two, belong to Newt.

 

 


	13. 4.13

,,Newt here leave a message if you wanna something"

,, Newt if you would hear this please call me, Bro you are scaring us.. " Sonya hang her phone and then looked at Harriet her bestfriend and girlfriend in one just kissed her on forehead  
,, don't worry he is alright"  
,, no he is not he went into fucking Taiwan find those two like idiot... Why he even care he left them here he left without word like idiot and they waited in that apartment like puppies lost little puppies without his master... It's Newts punishment he deserve this! " Sonya said sadly  
,, I know cupcake and I think he knows that too maybe he just want them back..."  
,, he doesn't want them he need them they need each other and they know that... They will came back once... "  
,, I know but now don't be bother by them and leave them and just come and cuddle with me.. " Harriet said with wide smile on her face and in other second Sonya cupped her face with her hands and started to kiss her

Newt on the other side of planet just watched ceiling of his room in hotel.  
They were okay.  
They weren't hurt.  
They hand someone else.  
And he hate that.  
They were with some strange girl.  
And they kissed that girl.  
They kissed her publicly they never liked PDA.  
So how come they did that?  
How come they kissed that girl but not him in public?  
Maybe they never loved him.  
Like he loved them?  
IMPOSIBBLE  
They were together from shucking high school.  
It's been over 10years.  
So what happened then.  
Why they didn't waited him at home, why they just disappeared into this shucking hell called Taiwan to make out with some strange girl?

Newt made desicion that day.  
When he would go on walk tomorrow and when he would walk right into them again.  
He just would go after them and show himself to them.  
And after they reaction he would think about what to do next.

 


End file.
